Taiwan nostalgia

Last year at this time, I was in Taiwan. For one month, I was happily unemployed and learning to eat fish that still had its eyeballs, to squat and pee into a hole in the floor and to say swear words in both Mandarin Chinese and Taiwanese. Every day brought new oddities and surprises, most of them pleasant. Either way, I loved every minute.


But now I'm back at home, woefully (albeit gainfully) employed. If I eat fish, I eat it out of a can with a fork. Going to the bathroom is no longer an adventure and swearing in English just isn't the same.

Sometimes I get nostalgic for Taiwan and I'll eat pasta with chopsticks or go to a Chinese restaurant just to listen to the waiters, hoping to hear a swear word I recognize.

It was during one of these nostalgic moments that I found myself going back over emails I had written while I was there. I thought I'd share them again. (I'll only post a few emails to start with. Don't want to overwhelm anybody)

My ode to my favorite little island in the Pacific:


March 16, 2006

I'm here!! I made it!!

The weird-food tally so far: I tried a dish that was made up of the tiniest fish I'd ever seen fried whole with peanuts. It wasn't that bad actually...it just freaked me out that you could still see their eyes.


March 18, 2006

Weird-food tally: I ate shark fin soup and discovered shark fin is tasteless, but it melts in your mouth. I ate jelly fish, which is not tasteless, but has a strange, and dare I say, disgusting consistency.

Tip: Never drive in Taiwan. You are likely to get killed by a motorbike.

I have hand cramps from using chopsticks all the time. And you have no idea how weird Chinese characters look on Windows.

Phonetic Chinese of the day: Ty gway la (Too expensive. For use when bargaining. Taiwanese love to haggle I'm told.)


March 19, 2006

Weird food tally: Hot dogs for breakfast. I asked if this was part of a typical Taiwanese breakfast; my host father said "sometimes." He speaks very broken English. They only made one for me and the other American girl staying there, so I think it was because we're American and they think it's what we eat. Whatever.

Tip: Wear slip on shoes. You have to take off your shoes and put on slippers when you enter a home.

Word of the day: This is not for the faint of heart. It's very rude: gan. (the f-bomb)

They feed us constantly here and always order too much food. My host father says when there is a lot of food, it means the guest is very important. They treat us like royalty. But then again, they also talk about us when we're standing right next to them because they know we don't understand a word. I constantly hear 'mayguaren' and 'maygua' when they talk, which means American and USA respectively.

My host father, who uses the English name Lawyer because he is a lawyer, took us to the 2-28 Memorial Park today. It's a very long story as to what happened in Taipei on Feb. 28, 1947 but suffice it to say that Taiwan has such a wonderfully confusing history with China and it's all still being played out today. It's fascinating.

But the best part of the trip to 2-28 park was the older woman that worked there, who called herself Grace. She spoke English very well and saw that we were Westerners and so tried to explain the memorial's background. She was talking mostly to Lisa, who is the other American staying with my host family, and I was standing there listening. Then she looked at me and suddenly stopped. She sort of shook her head and said the most amazing thing I've ever heard in my entire life: "You are so beautiful! I can't speak!" She said this while laughing hysterically.

At any rate, she told us all about the members of her family living in the US (and who all graduated from Ivy League colleges). She said she has a daughter in LA and gave me her phone number. I was told to call her daughter and visit her in California. Grace seem determined we be friends. She said earlier that she wants Taiwan to be independent from China, so I think she wants an American buddy on her side. I should have told her that I have no influence over the American
government, but I wanted to mooch a stay in California.

I haggled with a guy in the market today. Actually, Lawyer's English-speaking friend did most of it for me. He got 500 Taiwan dollars ($15US) knocked off the price.

Chinese characters are everywhere. I now know what it's like to be illiterate.

Zai jian (goodbye),
~mandy


March 20, 2006

Weird food: Oyster soup. Sounds normal, right? I thought maybe it would be like a lobster bisque or something. It's not. It's basically plain hot water with oysters still stuck in the shell thing and some strands of ginger. I'm not a fan of oysters to begin with (there's no butter to be found for 100 miles) and the soup part of
it tasted what I imagine dirty dish water would taste like.

They also served a dish that was fish and tofu. The fish was whole, sitting on the plate with its head and eyeballs, surrounded by chunks of tofu. I ate some tofu, passed on the fish. I don't like fish. I don't like eyeballs either.

Plus, I have been nauseous (sic?) almost all day. I still feel a little funny. The jellyfish is catching up with me. Or I have bird flu.

Tip: When handing someone a business card, make sure the card is facing them so that they can read what is on it and use both hands to hand it to them. Do a tiny little bow and you're golden.

Word of the day: ee-dian-dia. Not too much, just a little. This is especially helpful when they try to serve you oyster soup.

Dude, complete strangers keep telling me I'm pretty. I'm not leaving Taiwan.


March 21, 2006

Food: More hot water soup. Only this time, it was just that, hot water. There was nothing in it. Nothing. I saw what looked to be little grease spots floating around on the surface of the so-called soup. I can't be sure if it was some sort of oil or just leftovers from a previous dinner. At first, I thought the servers were bringing
hot water out for us to wipe our hands or something. I couldn't figure out what the hell it was for. Then my host mom started eating it.

Tip: Shake hands very lightly when you meet someone. It's really not even a handshake...It's more of a light squeeze of the hand. Firm handshakes are often associated with hairy Westerners. Some Taiwan people have a firm Western handshake, but most handshakes I've experienced are like having a swordfight with a dead fish.

Word: Actually, it's a phrase: Wo da mya. Used to express surprise or shock. The taxi driver that taught it to me said it is the Chinese equivalent to "Mama mia!"

My new host sisters and I went to a Chinese fortune teller today. It was in an underground walkway used by people who must cross the busy street above. Fortune tellers lined the walls of this walkway. One old man had two little birds in cages who apparently picked out cards for you and I assume the old man then interpretted. We picked the cheapest guy on the strip and my host sisters translated for me. I was told to take a pinch of rice and place it on to 3 little dishes and then he told me some things I already knew. It was a lot of fun!

He said there would be big changes in my career this year and that in August or September I would find a well-paying job. He told me my stomach is weak and that I need to be wary of that. I also need to keep an eye on my heart for heart disease. He said my boyfriend is very good for me (that would be you Kevin). Southeast is apparently a good direction for me and I should seek to do everything in a southeasterly direction, whether it's find a job or go to the doctor. (I asked "Southeast of what?" but nobody could give me an adequate answer.) Oh, and this is going to be a good year for me and I should find success if I actively seek opportunities. He said I should invest my money this year and I'd be sure to make more money. And I'm well-suited to own my own business. Maybe I'll learn more Chinese and be a translator. But I'd rather just win the lottery.

I think I'm getting bit by mosquitos. I thought maybe my face was breaking out, but now I'm not so sure. My host mum just killed 2 in my room. They're big and fat here too.

Tomorrow we check out a TV station and the next day we see the Liberty Times newspaper. I'm going to ask if they're hiring.